Ta Wa Kong

I've never been to Ta Wa Kong, yes, never. Joshua suspects if i'm a Kuchingnites, of course i'm! Anyway, Ta Wa Kong's hand made mee is superb. I must bring my parents back. I still cant believe i've never been there.

*********************************************************************

I had my first car accident today at a side parking, luckily only scratches. I feel so sorry and guilty the entire day and got my parents mad worry. A lesson learnt indeed.

ill

So i've...

• chill to the spine
• a temperature of 38.35°C
• yellow phlegm
• running, block nose
• a big hole in my wallet

RM88 slit throat bill >.<

Drowning myself with these

Keeping my faith high.

Schwarzenbach

the title? it's just a brand. a brand whereby i couldnt even pronounce the word well >.<

Rmb i mentioned i'm gonna rock town? yes i did and i bought a top. elated woman. Dress as cheap as six bucks, Levi's promotion Rm99 on selected jeans.... How could you resist the temptation? i couldnt :/ =]

These girls happen to love PURPERL :))
On the downside, the weather rock me. i'm sick =((

Signing off. Angel needs adequate rest.

Swine flu? me? NO!

First part of the morning during work : My fingernails turned purple and they eventually got numb until I couldnt work and took a 30 minutes break there. Borrowed Sharon's jacket, drank lotsa HOT water and washed my hands with HOT water repeatedly, increase the air cond temperature but it dint get any better.

Second half of the day :Wore two thick long sleeves & put on 2 pair of socks back to work, and the colleagues say i look like winter sonata, and Mum says as if I'm in England. *gulp*

i'm officially down with dry cough, slight flu and high fever.

Porridge & olive vege is all i can eat now cause i have no-good appetite at all. Great chance to lose weight aye?

Like always, Mum did sponging for me whenever i have high fever. She's worry each time i get fever cause i almost never have fever but high fever instead which scare & worry her.

Anyhow, i wana get well soon, soon as in tmr!!
*lights off with socks & jackets to bed*

Sharon : thanks a bunch!
Jen, Bea & Val : take care & enjoy your weekend trip!!
Samm, Char, Jans, Jas : "think these are symptoms of swine flu?"
Yng, JOsh : Happy Labour day!
sHuYi, drey : i miss euuu!

Negative thoughts

yes, my brain cells are dying.
aaaccckkkk. quack quack. laugh while you can..
..cause i cant even smile now. Sekarang saya tension sini.

I can feel the pressure and jitters now. last minute preparation. From introduction to political issues to bla bla bla bla bla whatever. Heck, i hardly read the newspaper, so catching up with recent political issues is such a headache !

I'm very troubled now. Very. The thoughts just kill me. It all started after i received Agnes and Janson's sms shouting to me with joy : It's over!. p/s : am happy for u guys. Then this came : mine is not over, not over not over dot dot dot.

Good luck to Beatrice, Kai Xian, Liang Yuan & Chung Sien tmr.

Ohh happy april fool eve!!

Runaway

dealing with what i dislike again today, and probably tomorrow and the day after tomorrow until 2nd april. *sulk*

A part of me wana throw these aside and just let it go. A part of me says : u're one lucky girl, grab it and cherish whatever u have. Be appreciative. So yeah, putting up a =)) double chin smile just to go through the days. What more can i ask for?? Stress is back to haunt me. *screammmmmsss*

On the bright side, I'm happy cause Agnes was with me. Took the online test together and just have a girl talk session. Awww..memories.

God please be with me, with us all through whatever challenges ahead. Guide us as we take a step closer to the future. We know You are always watching over us, always and forever.

To do list

i have a whole long list of stuff to do.

1. Research, research and more research.
2. Check out different Universities and the courses they offer.
3. Scholarships.
4. Application forms.
   
5. Get a whole bunch of certificates certified by some high post ppl, Principal etc.
6. Make an appointment with school counselor.
7. Have a chat with Mr.Lee and Mr.Jong. maybe.
8. Sit down and discuss with frensy about tertiary education.
9. Find friends who have this book called DoctorJob.
   
10. Movie with Yng.
11. Sleepover with Yng, Shu Yi and Val.
12. Sleepover & movie marathon with Agnes, Sharon and Shu Yi.
13. Get a new hp soon, cause the line is getting more and more annoying!
14. Ballet performance coming up.
15. Singapore shopping trip in April. [hope i can make it...]
16. Try baking.
17. Learn more computer skills. anyone??
    
18. Get back to the old habit - reading! [i havent been reading for like years?! shyytte]
    

Valentine's is coming, oh wait, it's tmr! Which means date lines and more stress. I promised to be serious after Valentines. ooohhh NO! *slap face* wakkiie, be serious! March is approaching! I feel really bad, guilty, stress and frustrated cause at this moment, my bros were almost done with their research thingy, short listed a few Uni and courses. They even applied stuff and did their own things, as in tertiary education preparation thingy. While me, i'm so laid back here and making my parents worry, especially Your Royal Highness - Mum. Needless to say, my Mum has been pushing me at the back, so that i start to take this tertiary education thingy seriously.

so many things to do, so little time.
Sigh~~

Anti make up

i dislike make up.

i hate make up.

i loathe the thick thick liquid foundation and powder on my face.

i despise eye liner and eye shadow because they itch me.

i say NO to mascara.

...and now, I'm awake at this hour because of this silly make up thingy i used few days ago for Ballet rehearsal. See, even after days, my eyes still itch. Sensitive eyes i call it.

dont get me wrong. Although make up is so not me, Elizabeth Arden lip bump is okay for me. and i adore eye shadow. i like the different eye shadow colours!!

Particularly, Estee Lauder.

okayyyy...i better stop before i got carried away.

*back to comfy bed*

The day is finally here..

the day Dad waited so long for the pain to vanish.

the day that worries the people living under this roof.

the day that freak even the toughest person in the family.

the day that we all really need to have faith in God.

the day I selfishly reserve God to be with us.

i love the serenity of this picture.
it reflects how we should stay positive in adverse circumstances.

Yes, I'm talking about Dady's operation which is scheduled to be around 2 p.m. later. It's a major operation as long as 3-4 hours. I can imagine the specialists sweating in the operation theater. A few risks such as excessive blood lost, blur vision or worst, blind, uncontrollable urination, infections after the operation.

Nth much i wana say now. All I'm asking for is God to be with us, to be with Dad, to be with the specialists. I'm trying to stay positive, really trying.

*praying hard!*
Dad, we love YOU!

stronger than ever

quite emotional these two days.

The visiting was fun, but there were time where sadness and loneliness overwhelmed all over me, it almost suffocate me but i still manage to breathe. I must really thank my really true friends for helping me; God knows who they are. Speaking of which, u know who are true to you when u're in trouble. Life goes on, so whats the big deal?? sounds sarcastic, to remind myself, always.

Sorry friends, i've been paranoid that day, making the situation sounds so complicated and stuff. and Thanks for walking with me through that moment! I owe u guys big HUGS!

hUggiiiiiiesss!

i'm one tough cookie! dont try to eat me!
*ruffffffffffffff!*

my baby

kong up today.

The surgeon certified ITs death at 5pm! *sob sob*
*claps hand* cause I'm getting a new hp S00N! bleh!

it fastened the process of me having a new hp! Yay! At the same time, ITs depart caused me so much trouble in contacting my friends! Urgh! *grumpy face* i'll have to survive days of not having my baby beside me! i can survive, i think!

when you know you know

but I dont know.

I've been thinking hard lately. wondering. i ponder.
I assure my friends not to think so much about the future, "come on guys, just relax and rock this 3 months while u can", but I cant seem to do it, though i appear to be enjoying every bit of it. cause ahead me is unmapped territory. As I barrel down this highway, the unknown ahead is terrifying and tantalizing at the same time.

1. What awaits me??
2. Why do I have to study??
3. Why is it not possible to not study??
   
4. Why are there so many upS and downS in life??
5. Why do people have to leave, separate and die??
6. What did i achieved so far at the age of SevenTeen??
7. Why am i so fragile??
   
8. Why do i bruise easily??
9. Why cant i be a kid forever??
10. How much i hate growing up !
11. How much i hate falling down and climbing up again!



12. How much i hate giving worries to my parents !
13. How i wish things could be simpler.
14. Is there a chance in life when the time just freeze and stop ticking??



15. Why are there such words like "jealous", " fate", "destined", "break ups", "death" ...
16. I dont understand why I got so many 'whys'.
17. It's already 17, i shall stop being grumpy and be appreciative.

i will keep on praying!

Malang tidak berbau

This picture reflects how I felt

U feel what I felt??

Mum gave us all a heart attack early this morning. Us as in Dad and I. Mum fainted twice and got herself landed on the floor with her face kissing the floor. Thank God she didn't fall on her back, she would have bang her head and got even serious injury.

I heard 'bing bang boom' sound for the first time and ignored it. Then I heard sound of broken glasses minutes later. I thought it was my bro who perhaps broke some saucer or what, and decided to check up. I was wrong, so wrong about it. It was the crystal clock that fell onto the floor [which cause the sound effect that awakened me] when Mum was trying to grab hold of the tv cabinet. I got a shock of my life when I saw Mum laying on the floor, semi conscious, with blood stain on her mouth and the floor. Yeap, she fell and injured her lips. Dad thought Mum vomitted blood; I thought Mum's nose was bleeding. Luckily, both our assumptions weren't right.

Mum was struggling on Dad's lap with cold sweats coming out. I quickly vacuum the broken pieces of crystal around the living room. Dad suggested we call the ambulance, Mum refused and claimed she's okay [which is not]. Then I insisted that she needs to go to the A&E no matter what. Dad drove us to KPJ hospital. Mum ordered us not to wake bro as he's sick and wana him to get some rest.

Dr. Lim [our family doctor] suspected Mum got Virus Fever and said Mum had to be admitted for further observation. The blood test report was out. Mum's blood pressure what-so-ever to do with blood thingy is NORMAL. But she her fever still fluctuate. Good news is Mum will be discharged tomorrow IF ONLY her fever subside.

Yes, I cried.

Stepping into KPJ Hospital reminds me of my late Grandpa.

Somemore, we were so close to losing Mum had I not wake up this morning.

Thank God for calling me and waking me this morning.

THANKS!

GOD, I pray for Mum to get well soon.

Please hear my prayer.

Butterfly

No, it's not the insect butterfly i mean here.

It's butterfly in my stomach. I'm having insomnia now. Couldnt sleep. I feel like vomiting now. Speaking of which, I puked out at Kuching Specialist Hospital today, wrong, it was yesterday. Naughty grandma got her feet injured yesterday noon. She mopped the floor upstairs and somehow slipped and her feet were caught in between the staircase's grill. The skin near her toes got peeled off and serious bleeding. Grandma can still smile when she arrived at the A&E at the hospital. *peng* She just couldnt sit still, thats why I call her naughty, or maybe I should call her active instead. The cut on her feet were so serious that the doctor need to stitch it. STITCH! This word can easily kill me.

Mum : I think grandma's cut need a stitch.

Me : Dont say that word! *close my ears*

My ears couldnt bear that word 'stitch'. I'd start imagine all those creepy unbearable pain of grandma's feet. I dont dare to look at grandma's cut and walked away. Then uncle and mum came to sit with me while waiting for the doctor to disinfect the cut. Uncle and mum were chatting and I heard the word 'stitch' again. Next thing I knew was 'Mum, I'm going to puke!' and I ran to the toilet. *uuueekkkkk!* Now this is how I'm feeling now too. Feeling the same butterfly in my stomach thingy like I did yesterday. Thank God I didnt faint on the spot.

When I reached home, I told dad what happened to me.

Me : Diiie [as in Dadiiie], I vomited just now!

Dad : Aiya. Why vomit. So lao ya one you.

Me : I heard the word 'stitch' lehhh...so scary!

Dad : Bo ha mik lah. Stitch saja.

Me : Dont say lw, I wana vomit again.

Dad : Tiam pok du vomit... If everyone like u, no doctor lw.

Me : Haiya. Mum still teased me to take medicine course, how can? I cant even bear the word 'stitch', what more to say stitch a patient's wound.

Dad : Lu ha mik du kia.

Me : Yealo. I go sleep lw.

Dad's right. *Parents are always right I guess*. I'm afraid of practically everything. Needles. Cockroach. Bees. Bugs. Tiny lil creature hiding under the sand of the beach. Cats. Yeah I'm scare of cats and I hate them too. Pain, both physical & mental pain.

ohH!! When am I gonna grow up and stop being afraid of these oh-so-small-matter??

Desperate morning

Urgh! I am not a morning person, never is. This morning, I was woken up by a call, silly one i would say, from FTMS ! Hmph! It was raining, and it was so nice, comfortable and cosy to sleep!

Dad : Girl! Wake up! Someone calls u!
Me : Huh?! Dont wana wake up.... ask who's on the phone, I'll call him/her back later!
Dad : Wake up lah.... It's already 10am.
Me : *Grumbles!* I wana sleep!
Dad : *Came in room again* Wake up!
Me : Sshhheeesh! *answer the phone*

To think of it, i was so bad, i made the caller waits on the phone for quite long! Haha! So this was how it goes. The FTMS clerk or whoever called me, saying this coming Saturday is FTMS's whatever 20th anniversary celebration, if I've not forgotten [i was quite blur on the phone okay, half dozing away]. She invited me to join, saying there's this station game and lucky draw, PSP to be won! Cheehhhhhhhh~ I'm not a guy lah. I'm not interested in PSP! Even if I'm, I wouldnt attend anyway cause I'm so tied up with Ballet!

The mess I referred to is my bedroom!!!! My oh my! After i hang up the phone, i opened the door, i saw a MESS! Nails, dust, white small pieces of PVC whatever on the floor. My bed was pushed aside from the corner. My books were on the floor. My clothes were on the living room. My bags too. My radio. My laptop. First thing i thought was : I'm so gonnna complain to mum about the mess. Then this special someone came in my mind : Shu Yi, my buddy! I texted Shu Yi about the mess. Haha. I really admire her! She has to empty her study room, by cleaning & removing all the books [the room is totally filled with bookshelves and TONS of books! 3 side of the wall were all books!]. Mine, my mess compared to hers was actually NOTHING, yet I grumble so much. Tee Hee!

I start grumbling and pulling long face. Cause I've to clean up the mess, I've sinus problem, and I'm allergy to dust.

Why the mess? Dad called technician to fix my room's wiring. Fix housing for my room's wires, cause dad says the wiring look so messy and ugly.

After the man left at about 11am, my headache started! Dad was so kind to offer to vacuum my room for me. So he vacuumed and mopped the floor and did some cleaning for me, rearrange my beds and stuff. *I'm grateful* Then, it's my turn to rearrange and put my stuff back to its original position.

Before

THE MESS!

See.... what an eyesore!

My stuff all around the living room!

Arranging my books....

Yeah.... I have a whole collection of Charmed books!

Used to be an avid fan of Charmed!

Imagine all those money spent on these books!

Anyway, stop collecting those books! I dont read anymore, am LAZY now!

TADA!!

Everything's back to square one!